255. Mix

08.06.2016

4.59pm

Windy weather

Lately, I have been through a lot of worries (especially in the matter of; work, love and friendship).

Guess this month is not a good month for me, huh?

Therefore, I decided to go for a solo trip.

Perhaps, you can called it "running away from reality".

Work.

The manager seems to be bias on me (the negative bias), not sure why she has to find issues with me?

What is her problem (my god)? She rated me below average for my appraisal, seriously? Am I so bad in my work? -.-

To be honest, I doubt that. But I did not defense myself, as 

1) I do not want to create issue with this lady, and

2) My senior is such a coward who will not backup his team (cos himself did nothing to support his own appraisal)

I have accepted all kind of opinions from her, yet she still find more issues with me!

Total fuck!

Love.

He is treating me alright.
Its me.
If there is issue occur in the relationship, it would be caused by me.
I wish, I could love you with all my heart.
Perhaps, if that day we did not argue, perhaps, this thing could not be taken place.
Sorry, Love.

254. A BEAUTIFUL SWEETNOTHING

To fei g,

I am unhappy, a little tears drop writing this. 
Because, I am giving you up.

Where should I began? Everything happened so sudden, and never did we know we ended up like this, in a relationship that has no tittle to it.
I miss you, I really am.
It teared me apart when I have to said goodbye to you.
Because from now on, we will never be anything more than just friends.

I have chosen my decision to be with HIM.
Because you would never choose to be with me in a long run.
What we had were all lust, and I shall keep these beautiful memories in me, and I hope you too.
Maybe somewhere, maybe sometimes you would think about me.
I hope what I had given you, are enough to crave in you. Please remember me, please do not forget me. Because I wouldn't forget you. I promise.

4 days passed by (from the day I told you stop everything), yet I am longing for your texts and calls right now.
But there would be just a slim chance you would do so. I am pretty upset, but I know I have to endure these mix feelings. And hopefully, I would be fine soon, like very soon.

Honestly, if there is a chance to turn back time, I would never choose to stop this from happening.
I enjoy most of the moments being with you. You somehow did make my day a little better whenever I see you, by the sort of cuteness, laughter, ego (a lot tho) and smile (which I guess, I wouldn't forget those smile on your face).
I will miss all these about you ;')

That night when you said "Yes I want but I don't want this as the last time", it simply make me so happy, really. But I am sorry, I cannot let this going on. Is wrong, this never right.
You had given those feelings alive again, was somehow as though I was in honeymoon stage.
At a point, I would want to say "I love you", but you would never accept this. And so I keep it unspoken.

Our moments.
Our memories.
Have to come to an end.
What a beautiful sweet nothing.

Thank you.
Thank you so much for your time.
Thank you so much for treating me so well all these time.
Thank you so much for these beautiful memories. 
My last wish from you is, please, please do not forget me.
Thank you, fei g.

With sincere and love, soh g.