166. Screwed UP!

These few days, I just felt suck about everything oOo

presentation to assignment to family to myself.

29/07/11

really get screwed up with the previous presentation, 

honestly I never been that nervous before any presentation,

but this time really screwed!

been feeling screwed up since morning till night! fml.

why do you need to talk bad about me?? I am not good enough to handle the assignment?

is like whatever shit also I did. wth,man!

* Fine whatever lah *

then why did you need to lied to me? was just a small matter,right?

I really do not understand. damn!

and thanks for putting up and burning the fire! fuck!

had a nice scolding from dad, which really make me down down down!

I had been so bad after coming back from college, here it goes again another something that screwed me!

wth wrong?!

165. Harry Potter Ends.

Before you read, this will be just a very short update :)

Watched HP7 part 2,

on last Sunday, 24th July with Vanessa Lee @ Jusco, Kepong.

Was a nice show.

I rate 4 out of 5 stars!

So is means, IS A MUST WATCH MOVIE!

teeeheee.

After the movie, we headed to a bkt restaurant to filled up our tummy.

yummm! yummm!

I love to eat bak-kut-teh so much.

Now waiting for Final Destination 5 to release :)

Excited about it, cause is a very disgusting show. lol.

So yeah,since I've said will be a short post,

I will end here and continue skyping with that soh po.

tataaa!

and NIGHTS! =)

164. 22-07-11

So today,

supposedly go MV with Janice to try out the new dessert stall,

however, went with mum to serviced the car instead :)

Class ended earlier, 1 hour early!

Mum called and picked me up, straight to condo to took the car for serviced.

Mum drove her FL, and I drove the City :)

followed her back, don't want to speed and cut her lane :)

After mum parked the FL at the workshop, 

many people asked "Why dyed FL to sliver?"

(to me white looked better...but dad...)

Then drove mum to have lunch,

tummy was making noise. hahaaa

Went to this place called "O'Lagenda Cafe" @ Siri Senar

Foods there tasty and with reasonable price, but drinks are a bit costly, but still taste good!

yummmmm!

Mum's "O'Lagenda" white coffee.

My ice-milk-tea! yumm!

Green Carry Chicken Rice.

taste super yummmmy! I very likeyyyy!

And yape, only both of us today :)

While waiting for the fella to called to picked up the car,

I decided to checked my EPF account, a center at Kepong,

drove there and done everything there. 

Quite embarrassing when I asked for the acc number :S

Di-da-di-da,

finished with the EFP thing, mum wanted to go OU for a walked.

Walking around the mall, and bought lingerie at La Senza..heheeee :)

bought a polo-T at Giordano.. :)

about more or less 2hours, we went back.

163.

Ahahaaa!

I am too bored and don't know what to do,

so decided to post something here. :)

See up there

my new hair style. lol

ya, cut it shorter again, I never once leave my hair long before :P

but this time I am kindda regret a bit, course I feel is a little too short :(

but nvm nvm, hair can grow,right?? 

Heeeee =)

And guess what, I went working yesterday at KLCC

well actually just helped my friend up, course her company having the annual dinner

so needed someone to replace her.

Have you heard ' Cle de peau ' cosmetic company?

Oh well, I worked there :)

Many datins went there and bought tons of skin cares and cosmetics :)

And of course, I am happy!

commission! 

Well, Sha and Janice went there with me.

Didn't get to have lunch with them, customers were around :(

But they did came to my counter

Sha was playing around with the make-up, colouring her face. lol

 Sha, this is not her kau kau make-up!

got one pic,she is real ah gua!!

really LMAO!

Hmm.

Just now, CW called me, on phone for awhile with him.

He is flying back to England soon.

I guess, he is in plane now.

Have a safe flight.

Suddenly have a weird feeling, I don't know how to describe...
all I can say is, I know I will miss him.

He said he will not be back to KL so soon :(

Anyway, I hope we can keep in touch, like we used to.

I do feel, after 'things' happened, we were not so close anymore.

And I realized, this time he back, we only met twice and just for a while only :(

162.

Hey ya, how are you out there?

Yeah, lately my posts were all the emo-emo ones,

but I good now! not 100% but I can tell you is 98% alright :)

Really nothing, I feel touched getting the feeling of loved by my bestiesss

Ohh myyy, their concerned about my problem were so touching me. *touched + shy*

But but, they still worry about me, even though I told them "I am fine, freaking alright,nothing d lah :)"

 Hmm..and today ShaSha said "don't mention d lah, later she is gonna cry again"

LOL! see see, she still don't believe me :(

My friends, I am really GOOOOOOD! REALLY! =]

Thank you so much for the caring and love, my bestiess <3

Anyway, now I will not gonna talk about him, him, him and HIM anymore.

HAHA :P

Oh well, I feel freaking happy with what I have and get recently. teeheee :D

Remember, as I had mentioned earlier I wanted to get a Longchamp bag for myself?

Yapee! Yapeee! I bought it, I bought it! =)

And for a cheaper price yoo!

Actually thought of getting a medium size and in red colour,

but ended up I choose small size and MUSTARD colour. lol

Yaa, I know I used to said I don't want mustard, kept on want RED. but I saw many people using RED!

so yeahh, changed lah, not many ladies using this awkward colour also. hahaaa

I AM HAPPY!

And, till now there are some shopping malls still having MEGA SALES,right??

Heheee..YESHH! I GRAB SOMETHING FOR MYSELF TOO! :)

I am sure, many girls out there pamper herself too,right?? hahaaa...

Let me list down some;

1) Burberry perfume.

(yaa I know, again the same brand,right?? haha..but I love the scent)

2) cle de peau lips colour 

(many wouldn't know this brand, is from Japan, only have 2 brunches in KL, Pavillion and KLCC)

3) 2 new tops

4) 1 bottom

That's all, not so many also,right?? HAHAAA

This is how I pampered myself :P

Actually, wanna take pictures, but my stupid phone out of bat =(

Really hate this bloody phone!

Been so fast out of battery recently, I think it gonna die soon.

I wanna change phone!

So nidda save money now, trying my best to get myself an iPhone.

Btw, I cut my hair again,

and is shorter now. Not really used to the style yet :/

Wish my hair were a bit longer.

Since I wanna earn some extra money,

I am gonna work on Wednesday,

so friends, if you are free, come and visit me in KLCC.

lol.

Last, I wonder where did I kept the EPF letter.

I need to find it urgently, gonna get my salary soon.

Been searching around my desk and cupboard for so long, still can't find it!

Imma gonna scream SOOOON!

Nvm, nvm continue finding tomorrow!

Alright, I am offing now.

byeee!

nights :)

161. thank you! :)

the current me look real sick, pile and extra ugly :(

I don't want that! I DON'T WANT!

eyes were swollen today :(

I've did some treatment before I went to bed yesterday night, 

used some ice to rolled my both eyes, but failed :(

maybe cause of tired and tears too much??

my eyes, Ohh Nooo! ugly.

look at me?? my eyes?? =(

yesterday was a real bad bad bad day for me.

but was a good thing, so that I will not guess anymore.

tired. tired. tired.

silly. silly. silly.

fool. fool. fool.

now finally, knew and won't be guessing anymore.

enough.

when I just got to know, honestly, my heart breaks,

I once assumed, but never know is the truth.

saw and read a lots.

thanks Min, who was there for me when I was real down.

on called with her I guessed more than 2 hours :S

and I guessed these were how much and long I cried for :'(

2 hours,man! 2 freaking hours!

my eyes pain, pain, pain.

same goes to my heart, pain and hurt :(

cried till like no more tears to cry, hurt till like don't know how's the feeling of hurt.

everything goes NUMB.

but with Min accompany and advising it make me feel better.

sorry Min, wasting your time hearing my ugly voice and tearing so badly :(

I look ugly that night,right? Aren't I?

real feeling down, till I do not know how to stop.

and here came Min who cheered me up.

really LMAO after the crying and seeing the pose. hahaa

sorry Min, posting the pictures.

but it really make me laugh till die. hahaa

Min is so damn LALA mui,right?? hahaaa

oh ya, and the kawaii-nono pose! LOL

Min, really thanks a lot.

if yesterday you were not there, I wonder how am I gonna take it,

how am I gonna look today. (WORST!)

thanks for the cheering and posing. hahaa.

thank you so much, Min :)

right after the called ended, about 1??

I dare not to go to bed, I scare I will think too much and be like hell sad again.

then Janice called. 

thanks to her too, who willing to accompany me till I was real tired and sleepy.

thank you so much!! <3

160. 11.07

11.o7

a day for me to like,

a day for me to love,

but also a day for me to regret what I've done.

just a word,

is a day for me to remember <3

159. =)

HAD BEEN SUCH A LONG TIME I DIDN'T TALK ABOUT IT FOR SO LONG.
until today, just now.
now that, I am feeling much more better and relief :)
thanks mint <3

for another time, I wanted to tears apart again by being alone.
but wait...
I cannot..
so..

*closed my eyes, took a deep breath, recalled the moments*

I should not break-down and cry for no reason,
and be emo alone.
I cannot!
thanks to her who willing to shared a ear and advised me.
couldn't believe that, I was tough for so long,
until today, which suddenly felt bad :(
but now I didn't, I am not.
I smile :)

is true, my moments and her moments are different.
is not the same, I should not relate it and hoping or wanting for the same outcome.
cause is just not the SAME.
things changed, feelings changed, people changed.
so I can not expect so much for ALL things.
take-it-easy.
face-it.
cause-it-is-the-fact. :)

enough, I don't want to mention about it so much.
is a no good thing :)

thanks again ppMint :)

158. it once make me Smile :)

I understand is not good to assume thing or jump to conclusion,

but what if the thing is so obvious and clear?

I cannot not thinking that way,right?

however, there are also some who disagree with me,

cause assuming is just a feeling, no prove about it.

I admit, I assumed plenty of times, mostly are not true, but I can double confirm this time I AM RIGHT.

though my heart can't really purely accept, yet I have to, I need to.

yes, many would think I am real silly. and I know, I AM, sadly :(

well, at least I can say, I am happier than before :)

I am taking the every thing easy, though sometimes I nag, I complain. lol

but I am sure, this so called 'not nice' feeling is just for that moment only, after that, nothing really effect me.haha

it has been like what, a year man!

time runs,right? I am glad, I am happier day-by-day :)

seeing him, make me smiled.

hearing him, make me smiled.

thinking him, make me smiled.
and now is still the same,

cause I don't feel, 'ILY' feeling anymore, I guessed :)

that's why I dare to look, talk, and think the past :)

thanks for coming into my life, and lead me to become a stronger person.

I never hate you.

I appreciate our memories (though was just a short one) 

cause I don't see any thing that really make me feel LIKE real bad, dying, or regret MUCH.
( but still, there are some mistaken actions and misunderstand words that make me a little feeling regret and sad )

but of course, I will improve my mistakes and myself in every angle.

I wish you happy too, with the someone you are liking now :)

I guess, many of the friends afraid to let me know the truth, but 'hey,I am okay you know.haha" 

well, is just I guess only ;)

" never regret something that once make you smile. "
so I won't regret, but SMILE =)

157. Urghhhh

at some point, I really 'beh tahan'

is not like I am envy, jealous, or whatever..

since I do not have a special boy friend 

 ( and I am not despo for one..ok,ok, this sounded bitchy, but, hey! is true, I AM NOT [:  )

but just a feeling like 'UGHHH, JUST FUCK IT,DIU"

I know is non of my bloody business, 

but still 'Can you guys please f*cking stop all these? =.='

is public, everyone knows what and who you are lah, so PLEASE control and be a good one, diu =.=

so fed-up seeing them, like seriously, not only me saying so, many too!

so can you imagine how disgust is their action?? 

'yuckks! yuck!! and YUCKSS'

 please don't show it to me anymore, or maybe I would say I will never look once both of you together :)

*urghhhh, whatever lah!*

156. Quattro Night

 how's life everyone?

I've been great all the time until last night I saw something that make me kind of like s-a-d?

(should it be sad?..I don't know how to describe)

 I feel very thankful to those who talked to me, it always make me feel better, 

I don't feel so bad.

you know what, finally I met CW on Saturday :)

like FINALLY! i miss him (as a friend)

he is doing great in his studies, and everything I supposed. 

well,well,well HE always looking good to me lah.. haha.

but I realized I don't have any picture with him :( I think, he doesn't like taking pictures. lol

so yeah, he picked me up to KLCC that day, then met up with some friends (some I know, some I don't)

as usual many people thought that we are couple? LOL 

but the TRUTH we are not :) I like how we are now :)

there were something that pissed him off, cause I said too much =/

well, I don't really mind if he scolded me cause this is how he is, treading me like a 'sis' =)

need to wait for him to upload / send me the pictures

cause I don't take camera (is like always..haha)

went to The Apartment, KLCC for dinner

and because of some issue I mentioned during the way to KLCC, he ended up don't want to go to MIST club

hahaa..ya, I was kind of like 'WTH' during that time, but what he said and did to me I know is all for my own good :)

at last, all of us just went to Quattro instead for drinking. 

chit-chat for 2hours there. HAHAA..

then after that, he drove me home and gave me a souvenir =) *thank you*

just took this one pic in my phone. 

of course, I edited this =)

**wanted to continue writing but I am too tired,will continue soon.

stay turned!

nights!

155.

What happened to us? Me and my mum?
Since when our chatting become an argument?
Went for tea-time with mum just now,
Was actually a nice chat time, but what's wrong?
From a patient talked turned out to become an argument.
I realized this always happened lately when we have some time speak out together.
There are always inverse thoughts between me and my mum.
I've be tolerant, but when things became big I can't control too much about my emotions.
I am weak to handle my emotional, I bet everyone knew this.
Mum looked fed-up about me, am I that bad as a daughter to her and my dad?
All I can say is, "I feel okay, if I can take care of myself and be alright."
I did feel regrets after the Sem1 things happened.
Now that I've changed, I seldom tell lies to get out, I speak the truth. But why you always bring back the old topic? I realized I was wrong and I've changed. So please,mum!
But they just don't think the same, they want me to listen words they said.
Mum, Dad, I am big enough to know what's right to do and what's not, I am independent for my age (I guess so)
Me and sis are just two different person, what I am is not what she is.She may be what you want, but I have my own way of thinking.
I am sorry the words from me are a bit harsh.
Stop screaming at me, I did not scream.
I feel bad, guilty and sorry at the same time to my mum.
I don't know what can I do?
I wish both of us have the same mind-set, so that we won't argue for just a small thing :/


p/s: am I really a bad daughter? am I that difficult to teach? am I not mature enough??