64.

Had been awhile I didn't update my blog. I was and I am really in a bad mood. Honestly, I have no idea why and what that's make me in a mood like that. Maybe of mood swing. That's so not a good critical thinker! haiz..I admit I am not =).

My life changed so dramatically,I had been very emotional for these couple of days. But I am trying to stop it, so I make myself busy by doing tons of housework and meeting up with my friends. Well, these really worked,not all the times but sometimes.

Seriously, I am not as strong as I thought I am =(. I always think that everything will be alright back and nothing will ever spoil my day again because of that thing. But NO! I can't handle it sometimes, especially when the memories plug back in my mind, I played the songs over and over again that reminds me and that person, seeing things that we bought. Urghh. I get angry at myself because I can't be strong enough!

So, I thought of getting drunk will helps ( I know this is kindda silly mind I have), well it worked when you are drinking but the effect came the day after, my headache like hell!. And today went to college I felt like dying.

On Saturday,I went to Black Hole and drank 5 jags of beer with kelly and ferfer. This place is not for clubbing, just a place that just nice to drink not dance! We talked a lot, laughed a lot, drank a lot together when we were a little drunk. We shared almost everything that had been kept inside our heart for very long. I just out of control after I get drunk, I cried but I was still laughing while I was telling out my stuffs to them. I kept on repeating the same things to my friends, asking why? The moment was my unforgettable time, I appreciate them. I was getting better after I blah all my things and listen to theirs advice. I felt GREAT that night!

I am over-ing him,DUH! You see, I am not really thinking of him too much now. Not giving myself false hopes anymore. Not blaming myself or him already,because I know all these happened by the phrase called "predestined", therefore, I don't feel regret on loving him before, because he treated me well somehow :) and also LOVE no blame. But now I seriously do not understand why is he avoiding me. Maybe, he thinks this should be the way after all for some period of time. idk. and i don't really care much.

But anyhow,once again I just want to remind myself and my friends ( that worry and care for me )I am letting go.And yeah, I won't show my sorrow in FB anymore. (;
To me letting go isn't saying "I HATE YOU", but telling myself "I LOVE ME MORE TODAY" =)