134. so near yet so far; so close yet I can't reach you.

what seems to be hanging?
is still the feeling of liking, wanting.
now that, my mind is elsewhere, I can't focus on anything.
everything now, is you.
I just need a peace-of-mind, but I just can't.
is my somaesthesia wrong? or it is just the way you want it to be?
or I am just fooling myself again and again?
I don't know. I am confuse.
I am very ambivalent because I am numb with you and the feelings.
" We are here, we are close, yet we can't reach for each other "
I love you.
but I hardly touched your heart.
I love you.
but I just don't know how; how to start.
I have a lot to tell you, but I don't know where; where should I begin.
it takes my courage to start a conversation with you, but yet I did.
you did not, it is because of your ego and aggressive that kill you?
or perhaps, you just have nothing to talk to me? you hate me? the anger is still inside you?
I am sorry for what I have done wrong and the silly decision.
our misunderstanding will never reliefs if we still being like this.
I don't know how to deal with it, but I want us to make things clear.
so that we know there's no regret for our option.
I don't know.
I am not sure.
maybe, the fact is "he no more love you".
sometimes, how I wish all these happened were just a dream.
that I still care and love you. are you? simply, No!


bye!
p/s: is all mix-up, i don't know what I'm talking above.